Today is not a special day, like your birthday or an anniversary of the first time I felt you kick. Sometimes it takes an unimportant day to make you appreciate those special times even more. I never want to be the kind of person who only tells the people I love such a thing on Valentine’s Day. I would rather see a surprised smile of a friend receiving a gift from me when it’s not their birthday. And what made this ordinary, long, tiresome day so special, Liam, was me getting hugged by you before you went to sleep.
It’s not often that I don’t see you for 12 hours. And this may only have been the 2nd or 3rd time that I wasn’t able to pick you up after school myself. But today I had to go to my grad class directly after work. Do not pass Go, do not hug your baby after school. When I pulled into the garage at 7:20 I was hopeful that you might still be awake, but didn’t want to interrupt your daddy’s hard work of helping you relax to sleep. But, boy did I want to hold you and hug you.
When I snuck up the stairs and saw only darkness from under your door I knew I’d have to wait until tomorrow…until I heard, “Mama. Mama.” (This was actually your daddy, letting me know it was okay to come in and interrupt.)
When you saw me you smiled so big your eyes squinted closed and you dropped Wubba from your teeth’s firm grasp. I knelt down in front of you while you sat in your daddy’s lap on the rocking chair. I hugged you and kissed your cheeks all over, telling you how much I missed you today and how much I wanted a hug from you. You leaned forward and put your arms around me, patting my back as I rubbed yours. You pulled away, grabbing my face in your hands and pulling me in for kisses.
I’m so lucky to have you and your hugs and kisses, my Liam. Seeing your happy face before you went to sleep made up for all of the exhaustion of the day.