This time last year I was about 12 weeks pregnant. It being my first pregnancy and all this was a super exciting time. And a ridiculously nauseous time. I was couch-bound, unable to move, and could only eat junk like ice cream sandwiches and Cheez-Its. I bought my first pair of maternity pants last October and would keep my hands on my belly all day, anxiously waiting to feel any movement. I was sure that every gas bubble was a kick.
Now, when I breathe in the sharpness of the autumn air I get serious flashbacks from last year. And, I have been oddly convinced that I’m feeling a phantom fetus. Just like last year my body is heavy with exhaustion…oh…wait, I have a baby now who doesn’t want to let me sleep through the night. I mean, it can’t be real. That would be a crazy coincident if I were actually pregnant (and by coincident I mean like shoot me in the face). But I can’t help connecting every bit of bubbling in my belly with the flutterings of a teensy babe. And after I’ve convinced myself that I’m ridiculous and that it is just scent association, I find myself raiding the grocery store for yogurt covered pretzels. I have probably eaten yogurt covered pretzels three other times prior to this fall and I want them every day now. Is that weird? This is all in my head, right?