Phantom Fetus

This time last year I was about 12 weeks pregnant.  It being my first pregnancy and all this was a super exciting time.  And a ridiculously nauseous time.  I was couch-bound, unable to move, and could only eat junk like ice cream sandwiches and Cheez-Its.  I bought my first pair of maternity pants last October and would keep my hands on my belly all day, anxiously waiting to feel any movement.  I was sure that every gas bubble was a kick.

Now, when I breathe in the sharpness of the autumn air I get serious flashbacks from last year.  And, I have been oddly convinced that I’m feeling a phantom fetus.  Just like last year my body is heavy with exhaustion…oh…wait, I have a baby now who doesn’t want to let me sleep through the night.  I mean, it can’t be real.  That would be a crazy coincident if I were actually pregnant (and by coincident I mean like shoot me in the face).  But I can’t help connecting every bit of bubbling in my belly with the flutterings of a teensy babe.  And after I’ve convinced myself that I’m ridiculous and that it is just scent association, I find myself raiding the grocery store for yogurt covered pretzels.  I have probably eaten yogurt covered pretzels three other times prior to this fall and I want them every day now.  Is that weird?  This is all in my head, right?


4 thoughts on “Phantom Fetus

  1. Oh boy…. You better run to the grocery store for a pregnancy test and while your at it, grab some more yogurt covered pretzels. Haha. 🙂 It is all in your head….or belly. ?

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