Reading into the Future

I’m trying to introduce some regular bed-time activities into Liam’s routine.  I actually change him into pajamas now instead of just letting him crash in whatever onesie he was wearing.  That was mostly because we didn’t know when he was actually going to fall asleep for real or just take a little snooze.  Some nights it was 7, some nights it was 11.  Now that we have a general idea of what the timing is I can take him up to his nursery and put jammies on him.  Then we lay a blanket on the floor, read a couple of books and then we turn on Twilight Turtle for the calming effect before doing the final nurse and bounce on the exercise ball, where he conks out in my arms.

So, tonight Husband joins us for the nursery routine because he hasn’t seen it in action.  By the way–the school that I teach at had a shower for me last spring and one of the male teachers I work with built a beautiful bookshelf for Liam and all of the other teachers bought him books to fill the shelves!  Is that the most amazing baby shower gift EVER?

Ok-back to the story.  So, incidentally, Liam has many choices of books from which to read every night.  One of the books I pull on this occassion hadn’t come off the shelf yet.  It’s called Love You Forever by Robert Munsch.  I was a nanny for years, so I have read this book maaannny times for bedtimes.

Book cover as found on Amazon

With Husband still laying on the floor with us I jump right in with this book.  Ah, yes, my brain skips forward a little, remembering the synopsis as I begin the first page.  It’s a mommy and a baby boy and the mommy sings a song to the baby that goes:

“I’ll love you forever,

I’ll like you for always,

As long as I’m living

my baby you’ll be.”

Sweet, right?  As the little boy gets older and older the mom still rocks him and sings the same song.  So, the boy in the book turns two and I start thinking about Liam turning two.  Then my mind remembers that the little boy gets older.  Then my memory starts flashing neon red warnings.  Oh, wait, doesn’t the mom get old and sick and the grown-boy rocks her and sings the song to her??  I get to the little boy turning nine and I LOSE.MY.SHIT.  Full on choked up whimpering and tears waterfalling down my face and dripping onto the floor.  Husband says, “Really?” and gets up and leaves.  Liam was a little more patient and squawked a bit while I snivelled, and swapped the book for our other bed-time choice, Ten Little Fingers, Ten Little Toes by Mem Fox.

Book Cover as found on Amazon

I even made a second attempt at reading Love You Forever.  I didn’t do any better.  It was a completely different book now that I was reading it to my own son!  Who knew??  All I could think about was Liam as a teenager.  Liam moving out of the house.  Me old.  You know, like really old.  It was awful.  I wanted to curl up in fetal position around Liam’s little baby body and wail, “It’s going TOOOOO FAST!!!”

Let’s compare already, so that you know I’m not crazy.

Here’s Liam in his first day:


And here’s Liam just a couple of days ago:



It’s gooooiinnnggg TOOOO FAAASSTTT!!!

I hope I can pull myself together enough to read the book without tears when Liam is old enough to understand that Mommy’s acting weird.


5 thoughts on “Reading into the Future

  1. Two things – a) You will never again read that book without crying. Or at least not for two years, which is how far into this shit I am, and I still cry at this stuff. We took Lucy to see Toy Story 3 several weeks ago and I cried at the end. b) Hubby’s reaction? For SHAME, Rog ‘ol Boy. For SHAME.

    Okay, three things: what the hell are you doing up right now? Go to sleep!! (I’m on AZ time, so I’m allowed to be up right now. You are not.)

  2. I knew before you incubated that little man who you’d become! Thank you for posting your experience and making ME feel less ‘weird.’ I can totally see Husband getting up and leaving the room–so funny!

  3. I can promise you that that specific book never gets any easier to read. My guys are 8 and 10 (almost 11… where have the years gone) and when I get ganged up on and they decide to start the book for me, I always end up in tears. And I’m never really sure if they’re happy tears or if the book makes me remember that my little boys are growing up and some day may have to take care of me. But no matter how many failed attempts at reading the book without crying, you’ll always have to try that one more time to see if you can make it through.

    Fyi… My son’s kindegarden teacher purchased books for all of the children to personalize complete with a school photo for a Mother’s Day gift. I think it’s a conspiracy to see how many moms will be in tears every night reading “Love you forever”.

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